Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
how do I tell him nicely and in french that we can't have sex anymore because his huge penis will ruin me for other french men?
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
Randomize
