Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
I was born with a shot glass in my hand
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
'TWAS BUT A GLORIOUS SIGHT. BITCHES.
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
The cop told you he couldn't let you pee. You just pulled your pants down and squared anyway and im surprised you didnt get arrested.No more drinking for you.
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize
