I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
so it turns out the huge bruises on my knees are from drunk bmxing and not getting railed from behind on the ground
and ill have you know that I only wiped out twice
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
Randomize
