I just farted at work and tried to cover up the noise by shuffling papers around
I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
The ass gains better be worth it
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
Randomize
