Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
In my opinion the party was fun, but i did A LOT of cocaine so my view was a little distorted......
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
He paid for a 5 star hotel suite and I raided the mini bar after he left. I think that’s bad karma. Want some pringles?
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