Haym$ered
turn off your phone and go to bed
Just woke up wearing a top hat and simpsons boxers. i also found more money in my wallet then what i had before going out, about $1000 more
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
dude, no lie, I would make out with you in front of them wearing nothing but a rainbow colored speedo
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
Randomize
