i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
You need to finger her with the Spock hand sign since she loves Star Trek.
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
My body isnt used to all this fresh air, sun and booze....ok well maybe just the fresh air and sun...its used to the booze.
Randomize
