All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
I'm pretty sure I asked his brother if he was gay while drunkenly falling to the ground.
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
I can already feel the hangover I'll be having on New Year's Day. I don't know if I'm prepared for this.
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
Randomize
