some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
I think rendering her infertile would be a valid community service project
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
Randomize
