Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
I need Christmas break to be over. I'm tired of fucking my old High School girlfriends
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
The last time you said "no one will know" is when you ran out of sprite at your birthday party and dumped a handle of straight up vodka into the jungle juice.
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
Found your bra in my backseat. And yes it took me that long to finally clean it out from last weekend
Didn't even know it was missing, if that makes you feel any better
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
