He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
But don't worry I didn't actually get stitches, although according to the health center I probably should have
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
Florida has a way of just fucking with a person's soul and jizzing all over their hopes and dreams. Like existential bukkake.
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
how drunk are you?
Several
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
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