I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
Trying to grind with crutches was not a success
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Randomize
