Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
Did I mention I should never take 5 Xanax and drink?
I sort of figured that out when I found you sitting on the roof of your house saying we could get in through the skylight while I called the locksmith.
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
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