So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
Banged a lazy eyed chick last night. It was like fucking an iguana.
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
last night I used snow as a chaser
She asked what a chaser is. I died a little inside, please come back..
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