omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
he clicked a button a stirrups came down from the ceiling... if I don't come home by sunday, report me.
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
You ever feel like just rubbing your face in everything like a dog?
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
how do you politely tell someone their toddler looks alarmingly similar to the berries and cream guy
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
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