So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
Randomize
