is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
The water bill last month was outrageous. We have got to stop fucking for hours in the shower
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
I wasnt going to have sex with him until i ran into his gf at chipotle. It was like the gods were saying "Go ahead. Shes already had her burrito for the day"
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
Randomize
