I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
I do no wrong. I am always right. Right? I forget why I am sending this. It seemed relevant.
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
You were running around drunk in a Toga chasing the frat's Husky. Of course they remember you.
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
Randomize
