so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
Randomize
