Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
i think you know its gunna be a bad day when it starts with throwing up into a red plastic cup
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
where are you?
Hypothermia
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
Definitely! I will do that this week. Right now, watching drag queens play with my dad's beard.
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
Randomize
