More tranny stories later!
This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
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