How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
every time i wear that dress i get kicked out of a bar.
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
i tied my phone to a string attached to my bra. i am NOT losing it tonight
Who knew wearing a toga outside would provide for and infinite amount of dick to choose fron
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Randomize
