I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
apparently when a guy says "if there's anything missing in your life, I will provide" he's not expecting attractive lesbians to be the answer.
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
