she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
Brought him brownies before taking his pants off. I'm like the Martha fucking Stewart of booty calls. Walk of shame be damned.
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
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