Now that I've come to graduate college. I realized the only discernible skill I learned was how to roll a joint properly. go me.
Well thats $24,000 well spent.
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
At this point I just want to meet a man with a job.
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
If you're not on crutches for breakfast, I'll feel like I've failed you.
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
He cut off part of his middle finger playing the knife game while singing The Knife Game Song at the top of his lungs. He also scream like a girl when his finger hit the floor and he realized he fucked up.
Randomize
