he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
You were humming mission impossible as we ran from the cops
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
I don't care. I'll text you about my butthole whenever I please. That's what you signed up for in this relationship.
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
I got a snap of someone jumping off a light pole. Was that you? Please confirm or deny. #onWisconsin
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
We're too hungover to prance.
Randomize
