I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
My spanish isn't great but I'm pretty sure he was calling me a "little monkey" while I was blowing him
It got a little outta hand when you wanted to do body shots on the table.. at Dennys.. at 4 AM.. with lemonade
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
The German just referred to my vagina as the Great Barrier Reef and that he was going to go diving in it.
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
It probably doesn't matter because I'm drunk...but I'm sorry for getting you drunk, having you almost lose your place to live, all your friends, permanently lose your liver functions, throwing up on my floor, losing virginity...etc...mostly I'm sorry for making you watch: cabin in the woods.
Randomize
