she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
A girl told me I was her "alcohol spirit animal" tonight. Somehow I think my whole life was secretly building up to this moment
Hold on. At Sephora trying to decide what despair smells like.
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
I mean, I've had her boob in my mouth, but is that romance?
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
Randomize
