That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
note to self: do not snort crushed up caffeine pills in the bathroom by yourself when ur super shit faced, ur face will fucking hate you in the morning.
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
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