I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
Also I got A jello shot for $2!!! It's like the forever 21 of bars
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
You'd be proud. Took my birth control today at 12:30 with a Budweiser. Guy across the bar saw and held his bottle up to salute me 😂
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
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