i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
BUT I'M ALSO ONLY IN IT FOR SEX AND HE CAN'T EVEN GET THAT PART RIGHT.LIKE LITERALLY ALL HE HAS TO DO IS DICK ME DOWN AND BE A DECENT HUMAN BEING IS THAT SO HARD TO ASK?!
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
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