On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
I drew you a picture of Jesus holding hands with Frida Kahlo as a token of my gratitude
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
Randomize
