I'm eating all of the evidence.
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
i called my brother from the living room and paid him a dollar to turn off the light in my room. ive hit rock bottom
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
Remember that night I drank a bunch of vodka, pounded your Jameson because 'you were a pussy', punched you in the face and ran off as fast as my high heels could go? It was just my Russian and Irish sides fighting for genetic dominance
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
Some old chick is rubbing my thigh and saying she needs some Memorial Day dick. Her teeth are kind of gross but I'm going for it.
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
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