Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
The morning after your company Xmas party and that moment you're eating a block of cheese in bed wearing a sequin blazer and recalling all the details of your one night stand with a coworker who happened to start that day...fuck.
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
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