I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
You FaceTimed me at three in the morning while you were peeing. Your eyes were glazed over and you showed me your bellybutton.
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
Randomize
