and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
why is there a sandwich nailed to the wall
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Randomize
