I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
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