That's intense
I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
And Mike keeps telling Will that love at first sight is true and this is just a shit show. Help.
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
Randomize
