I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
I don't even want to think what you did to boys being that drunk and horny.
Then I wouldn't suggest looking at the pictures from last night.
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
Randomize
