He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
I hooked up with a Michael Jackson impersonator last night. Too soon?
I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
Randomize
