I wish I could teleport
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
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