great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
Nothing worse then being at the gym on the elliptical next to a guy looking at porn on his phone
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
dude, shes trippin so bad. idk what shes on, she just told me she doesnt remember her name then proceeded to get in the shower clothed to try to "rinse off the high"
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
Randomize
