i broke up with my boyfriend last night because i had to eat a freezy pop in every color and he ate the last blue one. i sat on the floor and cried for an hour at least. everyone left. so i decided that this whole weed thing isnt really healthy for my relationships.
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
This morning I proved to myself and all the kids on the playground that I can't puke and drive.
He was spoon feeding me wine all night.
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
you looked at her and told her she looks like the girl you lost your virginity to then told her you wanted to lose it to her again
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
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