is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
i kinda regret how quickly i gave it up to him, but i just wanted the regular fucking to begin soon. ah we made good memories.
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
His mom came while we were asleep naked and started asking me about my plans after high school... Is that even a thing.
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
Randomize
