I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
I wish I could attach your penis to someone I like more than you.
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
Well the weddings in 4 days so I already got the eightball lined up and the wii fit all warmed up. Still wanna bet I wont lose 20 pounds by the wedding?
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
She spilled creme de menthe on her crotch and I told her she looked like a menstruating Vulcan (costume idea!). Obviously, I went home alone.
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
We were in the uber and you were crying because you wanted to be an Olympic gymnast. The driver tried to console you and you just cried harder
Randomize
