What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
Hotel room at 3 am. She's 42. Stockings and heels. All because I opened with a joke about cougar hunting. We'll high-five later.
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Randomize
