I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
Randomize
