i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
I was cleaning out my bag and I found some xanax wrapped in plastic with a note that said "use in case of emergency"
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Randomize
