I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
Zombie crawl summary: 5 of 6 friends successfully laid. friend 6 too drunk to care and making out with a whale (not a costume)
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
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