I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
Last nIght I drank wIth the new guy from fellowshIp & my pastor I've known sInce I was 7. It was agreed by them that I had nIce tIts. I'm not weIrded out In fact I'm flattered...
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
I wish I had a tail.
Why?
...why not?
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