I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
She walked into the kitchen, said 'we've come to this time of the party,' reached into the bowl of cold spaghetti and shoved a handful in her mouth.
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
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