their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
The first sip always goes straight to my vagina.
He told me his condom was going to expire tomorrow and he needed to use it. I can't believe I fell for it.
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
A man bought two 40's from me, then asked if I had duct tape. How do people over 50 know about Edward 40hands? It was very weird.
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
Just to be a PITA after I die, my will leaves 1 cent to each of my FB friends. I hate my lawyer.
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
Randomize
