If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
For someone only wearing socks and a cast, I felt reallyy overdressed
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
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